Saturday January 15, 2011 Blessing #253
I might have forgotten how to be a teacher. The snow gave us all week off last week, and we are out on Monday for Martin Luther King day. I will have to go in and get things organized at school Sunday or Monday--now that my house is finally together. Soon we'll have Henslee's crib and the full bed in her room, and that will just about do it! Katie's big girl room with big girl furniture looks fabulous-and the kids are both working on keeping their rooms clean and organized (for stickers, of course!).
I had to miss an appointment with my Dr. last week due to snow and can't make it up till Friday--but if Henslee's activity level is any indication-she is doing just fine. We are crossing into that time where her movements can, but don't always, actually hurt. She is waking me up a few times a night with what feels like the equivalent of cardio kickboxing.
Today I helped Chip and Katie put together 3 floor puzzles (Melissa and Doug floor puzzles are a must for us--easy to clean and just the right amount of challenge!)--one of our solar system, one of dinosaurs, and one of the ocean. Chip wanted to put them together in the order "they existed in"-so the solar system first, then dinosaurs, then the ocean (modern day life including whales and other mammals). Katie was helping a great deal--at one point, I sat back and marveled at how much they have grown, how much they can do, and how fast they have changed. I was overcome with pride and gratitude for these marvelous people my children are becoming. And to think there's one more coming! What a blessing!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Step Into the Light
Friday, January 14, 2011 Blessing #252
It is hard for me to believe that I have counted more than 250 blessings. How many people can say that? I am amazed at my own perserverance, but also at how this exercise has changed my daily outlook. Oh, I still have hard days and dark times--and you don't have to go too far back in the archives to find them--but I have steadily been able to muddle through and stumble into the Light. Cognitively, I knew--and have said to my students and their parents on occasion--that our state of mind is mostly up to us. You know the quotes, "Your focus determines your reality" (Star Wars!) or "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy" (Hanh). Even so, I'm amazed at the power of this discipline--even on days it has seemed impossible, engaging in this practice has let my happiness out-and even allowed it to grow.
A lot happened to me last year, and not all of it was pretty. Some was so ugly that I haven't revealed it here. I was devasted by the earthquake in Haiti-my younger sister was there working with Bethlehem Ministry during it, and I was extremely scared for her. She was fine-but Haitian families were torn apart, and years of progress and stability, which have never been easy to come by, were undone in an instant.
Then, even as these malnourished people who lost their families fought to survive, my brother killed himself. We weren't terribly close--he was much older, and turns out had been living a great deal of his life in secret. Nonetheless, I was shocked and saddened to think that we would never be close again, I was furious with him for what he caused my parents and siblings to endure, and I was afraid of what his death meant for me and for my family. Was that darkness lurking in me? In my family?
In March I was in Haiti--and that was when my mental compass finally pointed to the True North. I am living a life of abundance. Not material abundance, but I am surrounded in Haiti and at home by Hope, Faith, and Love. There is always something profound that happens to me after a trip there-and this time it was the development of an awareness of the goodness in the world and in my life. Shortly after I got home, that awareness transformed into this exercise. I have 113 more blessings to type--but I'm not sure I will be able to stop. This simple practice has showed me that while darkness lurks in everyone, we can decide to step into the Light. Tonight I'm thankful for the transformation that has taken place in me.
It is hard for me to believe that I have counted more than 250 blessings. How many people can say that? I am amazed at my own perserverance, but also at how this exercise has changed my daily outlook. Oh, I still have hard days and dark times--and you don't have to go too far back in the archives to find them--but I have steadily been able to muddle through and stumble into the Light. Cognitively, I knew--and have said to my students and their parents on occasion--that our state of mind is mostly up to us. You know the quotes, "Your focus determines your reality" (Star Wars!) or "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy" (Hanh). Even so, I'm amazed at the power of this discipline--even on days it has seemed impossible, engaging in this practice has let my happiness out-and even allowed it to grow.
A lot happened to me last year, and not all of it was pretty. Some was so ugly that I haven't revealed it here. I was devasted by the earthquake in Haiti-my younger sister was there working with Bethlehem Ministry during it, and I was extremely scared for her. She was fine-but Haitian families were torn apart, and years of progress and stability, which have never been easy to come by, were undone in an instant.
Then, even as these malnourished people who lost their families fought to survive, my brother killed himself. We weren't terribly close--he was much older, and turns out had been living a great deal of his life in secret. Nonetheless, I was shocked and saddened to think that we would never be close again, I was furious with him for what he caused my parents and siblings to endure, and I was afraid of what his death meant for me and for my family. Was that darkness lurking in me? In my family?
In March I was in Haiti--and that was when my mental compass finally pointed to the True North. I am living a life of abundance. Not material abundance, but I am surrounded in Haiti and at home by Hope, Faith, and Love. There is always something profound that happens to me after a trip there-and this time it was the development of an awareness of the goodness in the world and in my life. Shortly after I got home, that awareness transformed into this exercise. I have 113 more blessings to type--but I'm not sure I will be able to stop. This simple practice has showed me that while darkness lurks in everyone, we can decide to step into the Light. Tonight I'm thankful for the transformation that has taken place in me.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
FREEDOM!
Thursday, January 13, 2011 Blessing #251
Well--there is good news. While I have been a prisoner in my house since Sunday night (due to the epic winter storm in Georgia), I have accomplished a ton. Both kids' closets and dressers are cleaned out. The laundry room cabinets are cleaned out. Katie's baby clothes from the garage are washed and put away in Henslee's room-as are all the clothes donated by Heather. I have 4 bags ready for donation to Good Will, and a couple ready for the trash heap--I even have a sack of hand me downs from my sister-in-law ready to return. Maybe it doesn't seem like much, but I feel very industrious doing all this while prepping meals my kids (even Katie who is notoriously picky) would eat and growing a human.
In fact, it wasn't until lunch today that I got a bit stir crazy. Ok--a lot stir crazy. It was compounded by the fact that I couldn't send my kids out to play. It is so slick, and if they fell, there would have been no way for me to get to them without risking a bad fall-not good for me or the baby. There have never been two kids who needed to go out and run like those two today--so, they held major Star Wars battles in the living room--practiced bending elements like the Last Airbender, orchestrated a major spy operation using walkie talkies while I cooked supper, and did all of this (even the "super secret" spy operation) at a noise level equivalent to a home UGA football game.
Yep--it was bit much for me to handle, but I am thankful that it was today before cabin fever set in. I am so blessed to have had time at home--found time to accomplish all that I've been worrying over and enjoy my children. Oh, and I have done all of this without spending any money!
And now, I'm thankful that the weather is about to change, the ice and snow are about to melt, and I can get out in the sun. I have already heard no school for Friday either--but by tomorrow afternoon we should be near 40 degrees, and I am going outside. Hopefully I will be able to walk and push Katie in the stroller, while Chip rides his bike. I will venture out to the bank which is right around the corner-and maybe even to Michael's to pick up my framing order. So, I got stir crazy just as there was light (and warmth) at the end of the tunnel. Perfect timing.
Well--there is good news. While I have been a prisoner in my house since Sunday night (due to the epic winter storm in Georgia), I have accomplished a ton. Both kids' closets and dressers are cleaned out. The laundry room cabinets are cleaned out. Katie's baby clothes from the garage are washed and put away in Henslee's room-as are all the clothes donated by Heather. I have 4 bags ready for donation to Good Will, and a couple ready for the trash heap--I even have a sack of hand me downs from my sister-in-law ready to return. Maybe it doesn't seem like much, but I feel very industrious doing all this while prepping meals my kids (even Katie who is notoriously picky) would eat and growing a human.
In fact, it wasn't until lunch today that I got a bit stir crazy. Ok--a lot stir crazy. It was compounded by the fact that I couldn't send my kids out to play. It is so slick, and if they fell, there would have been no way for me to get to them without risking a bad fall-not good for me or the baby. There have never been two kids who needed to go out and run like those two today--so, they held major Star Wars battles in the living room--practiced bending elements like the Last Airbender, orchestrated a major spy operation using walkie talkies while I cooked supper, and did all of this (even the "super secret" spy operation) at a noise level equivalent to a home UGA football game.
Yep--it was bit much for me to handle, but I am thankful that it was today before cabin fever set in. I am so blessed to have had time at home--found time to accomplish all that I've been worrying over and enjoy my children. Oh, and I have done all of this without spending any money!
And now, I'm thankful that the weather is about to change, the ice and snow are about to melt, and I can get out in the sun. I have already heard no school for Friday either--but by tomorrow afternoon we should be near 40 degrees, and I am going outside. Hopefully I will be able to walk and push Katie in the stroller, while Chip rides his bike. I will venture out to the bank which is right around the corner-and maybe even to Michael's to pick up my framing order. So, I got stir crazy just as there was light (and warmth) at the end of the tunnel. Perfect timing.
Wipeout!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011 Blessing #250
Hard to believe another day at home! I am loving having the time to focus on washing baby clothes and cleaning out closets. I woke up to the news that Granna has bought the rug for the nursery and it is being shipped to my house--she also helped me pick out fabric for the valence which she will make! By some miracle (that miracle is family rallying around us and our soon to be addition!) it is really starting to come together. I wondered how it could with my work schedule between now and D-day. For me this is really found time--and probably the last found time I will have for at least 5 years!
So, on my nesting list--we can mark off Katie's closet and dresser and Chip's closet and dresser. When Trey left for work this morning he forbade me from going outside. Apparently our driveway is solid ice, and he was trying to keep me from falling. Obviously, I didn't want that risk either, but I was feeling bad for Chip who was dying to get out and play (Katie does not like snow). Then, my neighbor, Sloane called and offered to come get him on the Gator and take him sledding. He had a blast--and got some fresh air. Trey was right, though-Chip wiped out twice on the driveway--then Sloane told me about her friend who slipped on ice at 31 weeks and went in to labor. I will definitely be staying inside until it is safe!
Anyhow, today I am thankful for found time, family that is helping us prepare for Henslee, a neighbor who ministered to this "shut in," and that no one is hurt or in labor needing to get to the Dr!
Hard to believe another day at home! I am loving having the time to focus on washing baby clothes and cleaning out closets. I woke up to the news that Granna has bought the rug for the nursery and it is being shipped to my house--she also helped me pick out fabric for the valence which she will make! By some miracle (that miracle is family rallying around us and our soon to be addition!) it is really starting to come together. I wondered how it could with my work schedule between now and D-day. For me this is really found time--and probably the last found time I will have for at least 5 years!
So, on my nesting list--we can mark off Katie's closet and dresser and Chip's closet and dresser. When Trey left for work this morning he forbade me from going outside. Apparently our driveway is solid ice, and he was trying to keep me from falling. Obviously, I didn't want that risk either, but I was feeling bad for Chip who was dying to get out and play (Katie does not like snow). Then, my neighbor, Sloane called and offered to come get him on the Gator and take him sledding. He had a blast--and got some fresh air. Trey was right, though-Chip wiped out twice on the driveway--then Sloane told me about her friend who slipped on ice at 31 weeks and went in to labor. I will definitely be staying inside until it is safe!
Anyhow, today I am thankful for found time, family that is helping us prepare for Henslee, a neighbor who ministered to this "shut in," and that no one is hurt or in labor needing to get to the Dr!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Following in Footsteps
Tuesday, January 11, 2011, Blessing #249
Home again today-with no sign of melting to speak of. This is unprecedented for us Georgia folks-our government just doesn't keep equipment on hand to deal with snow and ice of this magnitude. I've already heard that we won't have school on Wednesday either. I know some folks are stir crazy, but in my nesting frenzy this is perfect!
If you follow, you know that I've already tackled the pantry, the linen closet, the kids' rooms, the coat closet, and my room. I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of the shipment with my new kitchen junk drawer organizers--even though I may be waiting for a while with all the snow and ice. What could be left you ask? The cabinets in the laundry room, of course (you never know where you might need to put a baby!) and the piles of baby clothes to be laundered and sorted. Trey is still home, so he has been able to paint the two chests moving to Katie's room, so that the changing table and dresser can be moved from her room to Henslee's. So I'm just about ready to start putting clothes in Henslee's closet and drawers! On Wednesday--I will put all those clothes away and clean out Chip's and Katie's closet! This is fabulous.....even though when I go back to work, I will be so behind there.
I did need some fresh air today, so Trey and the kids and I went for a walk. I had Trey's arm on one side and a trekking pole on the other--and I was so careful. I can't be falling and dealing with back injuries or pre-term labor! We didn't go far, but it was great to get out.
At one point, Katie calls out to Daddy, "Daddy! I'm following in your footsteps! Watch me!" She meant she was literally stepping where he had stepped, so she wouldn't slip--but I immediately thought of that statement in a broader context. Our children really do follow in our footsteps, don't they? If we are happy-they are happy. If we believe in God and Love, they will too. If we eat healthy and exercise, they will too. If we are calm, even tempered, and charitable, they will be too. If we try to make good choices--not just the easy ones--then they will make the same efforts. If we work hard--they will work hard. There I was-bundled like the stay puff marshmellow man--and the magnitude of mine and Trey's responsibility as parents hit me full force. It was sobering! Am I setting the best example? Am I living in the peace and happiness that I hope for my children? Am I modeling good decision making and habits?
As we walked on, I found myself recommiting to those ideals for my children. It was an amazing blessing that my recommitment followed precious words from my 5 year old daughter. I am a lucky, lucky woman. Oh, also, I'm very thankful that I didn't fall! Here are some pics from another snow day!
Home again today-with no sign of melting to speak of. This is unprecedented for us Georgia folks-our government just doesn't keep equipment on hand to deal with snow and ice of this magnitude. I've already heard that we won't have school on Wednesday either. I know some folks are stir crazy, but in my nesting frenzy this is perfect!
If you follow, you know that I've already tackled the pantry, the linen closet, the kids' rooms, the coat closet, and my room. I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of the shipment with my new kitchen junk drawer organizers--even though I may be waiting for a while with all the snow and ice. What could be left you ask? The cabinets in the laundry room, of course (you never know where you might need to put a baby!) and the piles of baby clothes to be laundered and sorted. Trey is still home, so he has been able to paint the two chests moving to Katie's room, so that the changing table and dresser can be moved from her room to Henslee's. So I'm just about ready to start putting clothes in Henslee's closet and drawers! On Wednesday--I will put all those clothes away and clean out Chip's and Katie's closet! This is fabulous.....even though when I go back to work, I will be so behind there.
I did need some fresh air today, so Trey and the kids and I went for a walk. I had Trey's arm on one side and a trekking pole on the other--and I was so careful. I can't be falling and dealing with back injuries or pre-term labor! We didn't go far, but it was great to get out.
At one point, Katie calls out to Daddy, "Daddy! I'm following in your footsteps! Watch me!" She meant she was literally stepping where he had stepped, so she wouldn't slip--but I immediately thought of that statement in a broader context. Our children really do follow in our footsteps, don't they? If we are happy-they are happy. If we believe in God and Love, they will too. If we eat healthy and exercise, they will too. If we are calm, even tempered, and charitable, they will be too. If we try to make good choices--not just the easy ones--then they will make the same efforts. If we work hard--they will work hard. There I was-bundled like the stay puff marshmellow man--and the magnitude of mine and Trey's responsibility as parents hit me full force. It was sobering! Am I setting the best example? Am I living in the peace and happiness that I hope for my children? Am I modeling good decision making and habits?
As we walked on, I found myself recommiting to those ideals for my children. It was an amazing blessing that my recommitment followed precious words from my 5 year old daughter. I am a lucky, lucky woman. Oh, also, I'm very thankful that I didn't fall! Here are some pics from another snow day!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Stolen Moments--A Whole Day Full!
Well, all that snow really did come--this morning at 7:30 or so I measured 7" of powdery, perfect fluff on my back deck. Around lunch we started with freezing rain, and now the snow is covered in a solid 1/4" of ice giving it that crunch texture. However, Trey was able to dig the powdery stuff out from under the ice on the roof of his truck, and he and Chip are having the "Snowball fight of a lifetime" according to Chip.
Anyway, as far as the Blessing goes today--we don't have too look far. No school--and no work for Daddy. We still have power--which means we are warm. We have plenty to eat and we are all relaxed and enjoying each other. I can't believe how sweet the kids are being to each other....nothing makes a Mom happier! Oh, and we've already heard we have no school tomorrow either! So, just another day of relaxing at home (hopefully still with power!).
Here are some more pics of our Georgia Blizzard!
Givers and Takers
Sunday, January 9, 2011 Blessing #247
Trey was up early today to head to Rutledge and talk with a church about Bethlehem Ministry and their work in Haiti. I was up early to get the kids to Sunday School, and I kept the babies in nursery. It was so much fun--but I still am having moments when I can't believe we're about to add a baby to this family!
After church, it was hurry home to straigten up before folks interested in accompanying Trey to Haiti in June came over to hear more about the trip.Sometimes the crowds are big, sometimes they are small--but it never fails to lift my spirits to connect with others who feel called to know and help the Haitians. I believe there are two types of people in the world--Givers and Takers. I'm not saying you have to go to Haiti to be a Giver, but I'm saying precious few of the Taker types ever step forward. It is wonderful to connect with Givers.
Still waiting for the snow, but I'll admit-the forecast looks pretty daunting, so I'm guessing its the real deal. School is already closed for tomorrow! So, today, I'm thankful for the upcoming day off and for connecting with people who have a sincere desire to leave the whole world--not just their own world--better than they found it.
Trey was up early today to head to Rutledge and talk with a church about Bethlehem Ministry and their work in Haiti. I was up early to get the kids to Sunday School, and I kept the babies in nursery. It was so much fun--but I still am having moments when I can't believe we're about to add a baby to this family!
After church, it was hurry home to straigten up before folks interested in accompanying Trey to Haiti in June came over to hear more about the trip.Sometimes the crowds are big, sometimes they are small--but it never fails to lift my spirits to connect with others who feel called to know and help the Haitians. I believe there are two types of people in the world--Givers and Takers. I'm not saying you have to go to Haiti to be a Giver, but I'm saying precious few of the Taker types ever step forward. It is wonderful to connect with Givers.
Still waiting for the snow, but I'll admit-the forecast looks pretty daunting, so I'm guessing its the real deal. School is already closed for tomorrow! So, today, I'm thankful for the upcoming day off and for connecting with people who have a sincere desire to leave the whole world--not just their own world--better than they found it.
Laser Show...in the Oven????
Saturday, January 8, 2011 Blessing #246
First, our oven tanked--I mean it put on the equivalent of the laser show this morning, and I just cried. How are we going to pay for an oven? We are not spending anything between now and payday, and this is certainly not in our budget!
Anyway, the air is all a buzz with stories of a major winter storm headed our way. Now in Georgia, we get excited about flurries the way they get excited about sunshine in Seattle--so I'm still waiting to see if its much ado about nothing. Nonetheless, we did our bit to stimulate the economy and headed out for groceries this morning. All 4 of us went, and it was packed! Everyone hurried in to buy staples for waiting out the storm.
I just keep thinking, thank God that for my family the possibility of snow is exciting. What if I didn't have a way to keep them warm or fed? It really puts the whole oven ordeal in perspective doesn't it? I mean we have shelter, heat, a fire place, a stovetop, and microwave. So, we'll be light on the casseroles for a while? We will still gather around a table of plenty and thank God for our good fortune.
First, our oven tanked--I mean it put on the equivalent of the laser show this morning, and I just cried. How are we going to pay for an oven? We are not spending anything between now and payday, and this is certainly not in our budget!
Anyway, the air is all a buzz with stories of a major winter storm headed our way. Now in Georgia, we get excited about flurries the way they get excited about sunshine in Seattle--so I'm still waiting to see if its much ado about nothing. Nonetheless, we did our bit to stimulate the economy and headed out for groceries this morning. All 4 of us went, and it was packed! Everyone hurried in to buy staples for waiting out the storm.
I just keep thinking, thank God that for my family the possibility of snow is exciting. What if I didn't have a way to keep them warm or fed? It really puts the whole oven ordeal in perspective doesn't it? I mean we have shelter, heat, a fire place, a stovetop, and microwave. So, we'll be light on the casseroles for a while? We will still gather around a table of plenty and thank God for our good fortune.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Life or Death?
January 7, 2011 Blessing #245
It is a better day...whatever little slump I was in has passed. I slept much better last night and am looking forward to homemade waffles and eggs for dinner. The weather is lovely--and I have already finished teaching for the day. I will probably head out in a few and walk the cross country course. I have been able to walk everyday but Wednesday of this week-plus I was back in yoga on Tuesday. Exercise makes everything better for me, and I couldn't get to it over the break. It was too cold to force Chip to ride on his bike or for Katie to sit in the stroller.
Whenever I was going through a rough spot growing up--with friends, grades, sports, etc--my Mom would say, "This too shall pass." It took me a long time to learn that lesson (everything feels life or death to a teenage girl), but she was right. Very little of what we worry about actually comes to pass--and when we are in tough times, they don't last forever. I'm so thankful that I can acknowledge the tough times-believe they will end, and then notice when they have passed. So, today, I'm thankful that my Mom shared that wisdom with me--and I am thankful for the adversity I have faced, which allowed me to learn that I can navigate it without it defining me.
It is a better day...whatever little slump I was in has passed. I slept much better last night and am looking forward to homemade waffles and eggs for dinner. The weather is lovely--and I have already finished teaching for the day. I will probably head out in a few and walk the cross country course. I have been able to walk everyday but Wednesday of this week-plus I was back in yoga on Tuesday. Exercise makes everything better for me, and I couldn't get to it over the break. It was too cold to force Chip to ride on his bike or for Katie to sit in the stroller.
Whenever I was going through a rough spot growing up--with friends, grades, sports, etc--my Mom would say, "This too shall pass." It took me a long time to learn that lesson (everything feels life or death to a teenage girl), but she was right. Very little of what we worry about actually comes to pass--and when we are in tough times, they don't last forever. I'm so thankful that I can acknowledge the tough times-believe they will end, and then notice when they have passed. So, today, I'm thankful that my Mom shared that wisdom with me--and I am thankful for the adversity I have faced, which allowed me to learn that I can navigate it without it defining me.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Priceless Partner
Thursday, January 6, 2011 Blessing #244
I hesitate to even start typing--after reading my last two posts, it's pretty clear that I've been grumpy. I'm not much better tonight. I haven't slept well all week-partly because I am still adjusting to being back on my routine and partly because I can't get comfortable (at least not for very long). Up to get a TUMS, up to potty, etc....all night long! Add to that my racing mind--once I'm roused for something I get to perseverating--it is a recipe for a sleepless night.
So, tonight I am beyond thankful for leftover vegetable soup and cornbread. I'm so blessed that when Daddy got home we ate together-and then I got to check out. They are all laughing and snuggling on the couch-and I'm about 30 seconds from getting horizontal and fast asleep. Thank God for a hands on, loving, gentle father--it is fabulous to have a partner in this parenting gig, and I couldn't have asked for a better one.
I hesitate to even start typing--after reading my last two posts, it's pretty clear that I've been grumpy. I'm not much better tonight. I haven't slept well all week-partly because I am still adjusting to being back on my routine and partly because I can't get comfortable (at least not for very long). Up to get a TUMS, up to potty, etc....all night long! Add to that my racing mind--once I'm roused for something I get to perseverating--it is a recipe for a sleepless night.
So, tonight I am beyond thankful for leftover vegetable soup and cornbread. I'm so blessed that when Daddy got home we ate together-and then I got to check out. They are all laughing and snuggling on the couch-and I'm about 30 seconds from getting horizontal and fast asleep. Thank God for a hands on, loving, gentle father--it is fabulous to have a partner in this parenting gig, and I couldn't have asked for a better one.
Domestic Goddess or Goddess of War?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011 Blessing #243
I'm feeling a bit silly. Why in the world am I doing this? Counting blessings is of course a fabulous idea and discipline--but doing it publicly? Anyway, not that it is super public--I have a few loyal readers-but they are mostly family. So, again that begs the question, why bother? I mean there is so much other stuff for me to do right now.....(like cook, clean, sort, and nest--domestic goddess stuff!)
It's another one of those days that I just don't feel like focusing on blessings--so bear with me as I try to muddle through. I'm irritated today by the simple truth that the pace of the world is often set by the slow pokes. This is true on the interstate (I don't mean safe speed drivers, I mean slow drivers), in the grocery store, at the bank, and even in the work place. I am not always efficient--but I do get my work done, and I get it done on time. I can't stand myself if I don't. (By the way, yes I have made my bed everyday and no, we still haven't used the credit card). Why can't everyone just do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it? Is that really too much to ask? Why should I have more work to do or waiting to do because someone else can't get their stuff together? I'm all about helping folks who need it, but folks who just move slow for the sake of moving slow? Come on!!! Yes, this is what it looks like when I'm on the war path (I am currently wearing my War Goddess metaphorical hat).
I'll bet you can feel the sunshine through the computer! It has just been a day full of delays and fumbles in communication causing me headache after headache. But, seriously, this is another tough day for me--and I know it shouldn't be. I mean, I have food to eat, shelter, a husband and family I adore, a job I love, and the miracle of new life inside of me. Still, I may be optimistic, but I'm not perfect. Sometimes it is hard for me to focus on the good.
Coming full circle now, I guess that is why I am doing this publicly-because that way I have to find the good everyday--no matter what. I'm typing this through gritted teeth.
So, today, our long-time sitter, Sarah, picked the kids up from school and took them for ice cream at Chic-fil-a. This was totally pro bono, b/c of course we can't afford to pay her! She has just missed Chip and Katie, and they have missed her and she wanted to remedy that. So for mommy--who had had a tough day, that meant I just got in the car and left school alone. I drove home to an empty house-I'm never in my house alone.
There was stillness there that felt Divine. In that stillness I tried hard to reflect on good things from the day--Chip spent it at Fernbank, several students started getting photosynthesis, my blood sugars are refreshingly boring, even the kids are making their beds, I'm going on an awesome retreat next week with 12th graders, I love my home and family. You get the idea--well, anyway I went from gritted teeth to a grin of gratitude. It only took 15 minutes of still, quiet, purposeful time. Today I'm thankful for that time.
I'm feeling a bit silly. Why in the world am I doing this? Counting blessings is of course a fabulous idea and discipline--but doing it publicly? Anyway, not that it is super public--I have a few loyal readers-but they are mostly family. So, again that begs the question, why bother? I mean there is so much other stuff for me to do right now.....(like cook, clean, sort, and nest--domestic goddess stuff!)
It's another one of those days that I just don't feel like focusing on blessings--so bear with me as I try to muddle through. I'm irritated today by the simple truth that the pace of the world is often set by the slow pokes. This is true on the interstate (I don't mean safe speed drivers, I mean slow drivers), in the grocery store, at the bank, and even in the work place. I am not always efficient--but I do get my work done, and I get it done on time. I can't stand myself if I don't. (By the way, yes I have made my bed everyday and no, we still haven't used the credit card). Why can't everyone just do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it? Is that really too much to ask? Why should I have more work to do or waiting to do because someone else can't get their stuff together? I'm all about helping folks who need it, but folks who just move slow for the sake of moving slow? Come on!!! Yes, this is what it looks like when I'm on the war path (I am currently wearing my War Goddess metaphorical hat).
I'll bet you can feel the sunshine through the computer! It has just been a day full of delays and fumbles in communication causing me headache after headache. But, seriously, this is another tough day for me--and I know it shouldn't be. I mean, I have food to eat, shelter, a husband and family I adore, a job I love, and the miracle of new life inside of me. Still, I may be optimistic, but I'm not perfect. Sometimes it is hard for me to focus on the good.
Coming full circle now, I guess that is why I am doing this publicly-because that way I have to find the good everyday--no matter what. I'm typing this through gritted teeth.
So, today, our long-time sitter, Sarah, picked the kids up from school and took them for ice cream at Chic-fil-a. This was totally pro bono, b/c of course we can't afford to pay her! She has just missed Chip and Katie, and they have missed her and she wanted to remedy that. So for mommy--who had had a tough day, that meant I just got in the car and left school alone. I drove home to an empty house-I'm never in my house alone.
There was stillness there that felt Divine. In that stillness I tried hard to reflect on good things from the day--Chip spent it at Fernbank, several students started getting photosynthesis, my blood sugars are refreshingly boring, even the kids are making their beds, I'm going on an awesome retreat next week with 12th graders, I love my home and family. You get the idea--well, anyway I went from gritted teeth to a grin of gratitude. It only took 15 minutes of still, quiet, purposeful time. Today I'm thankful for that time.
After the Comma
Tuesday, January 4, 2011 Blessing #242
There are days when this is hard. There are days I wish I'd never had this crazy idea to focus on finding and sharing blessings in my life. And there are certainly days I wish I hadn't made this commitment so @#$% public--that cyberspace wasn't holding me accountable.
There is just so much to do, and I'm tired. My house has been overhauled in the last few days--closets, bedrooms, drawers, the pantry--and pretty much everything else. I have graded 4 sets of ridiculously long exams (why do I make them so hard?). I have introduced 9th graders to the super coolness of photosynthesis--and convincing them it is super cool is not as easy as it sounds. I have mommied the 2 children I have and worked hard growing a 3rd. Today the thought of sitting at the computer was just too much for me and my puffy feat...so it is a Wonder Woman Notebook Blessing kind of night.
Amidst all of this fatigue and these feelings of being overwhelmed, my son's joy and excitement are the blessing tonight. At the dinner table he pipes up with, "Mom, we're going to have a comma!" "I beg your pardon son, but what does that mean?" He says, " You know we can't say Chip and Katie anymore. We have to say Chip, Katie, and Henslee! Hey, that's two commas!"
I suppose he is learning about punctuation (if you read regularly, you'll be aware that his mother is not teaching him!) in 2nd grade--but seeing him so enthusiastic about the addition to our family was precious. And somehow, it was made even more special because he was tying his lessons at school to his own life. The teacher and the mommy in me couldn't be more pleased. Thank God he is so positive and full of energy--it was just what I needed to snap out of my slump!
There are days when this is hard. There are days I wish I'd never had this crazy idea to focus on finding and sharing blessings in my life. And there are certainly days I wish I hadn't made this commitment so @#$% public--that cyberspace wasn't holding me accountable.
There is just so much to do, and I'm tired. My house has been overhauled in the last few days--closets, bedrooms, drawers, the pantry--and pretty much everything else. I have graded 4 sets of ridiculously long exams (why do I make them so hard?). I have introduced 9th graders to the super coolness of photosynthesis--and convincing them it is super cool is not as easy as it sounds. I have mommied the 2 children I have and worked hard growing a 3rd. Today the thought of sitting at the computer was just too much for me and my puffy feat...so it is a Wonder Woman Notebook Blessing kind of night.
Amidst all of this fatigue and these feelings of being overwhelmed, my son's joy and excitement are the blessing tonight. At the dinner table he pipes up with, "Mom, we're going to have a comma!" "I beg your pardon son, but what does that mean?" He says, " You know we can't say Chip and Katie anymore. We have to say Chip, Katie, and Henslee! Hey, that's two commas!"
I suppose he is learning about punctuation (if you read regularly, you'll be aware that his mother is not teaching him!) in 2nd grade--but seeing him so enthusiastic about the addition to our family was precious. And somehow, it was made even more special because he was tying his lessons at school to his own life. The teacher and the mommy in me couldn't be more pleased. Thank God he is so positive and full of energy--it was just what I needed to snap out of my slump!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Guilt Free Mommy
Manic Monday, January 3, 2011 Blessing #241
I can't lie-I wasn't sure I was going to be ready to go back to school today. Usually, I start getting excited a few days before--but it wasn't until last night at 9pm that I finally kicked into ready to work mode. My focus is turning more inward-to myself, to this baby, and to my home. I think I have said here before that when I am pregnant or nursing, it is marvelous in that I feel that I have cosmic permission to lavish attention on myself, my home, and my family--completely guilt free. I am a woman who is used to feeling torn between all of the parts of my life that I love. When I am at home, I am concerned about what I'm not accomplishing at work--when I'm at work, I'm concerned that my children are forgetting me--or worse being the last ones picked up from after school care.
Anyhow, work did come--and I was ready, and it was fabulous to be back. But, it is also amazing that for now I'm living with an undeniable focus on my family, my health, and all of our well being. Of course, that's how it should always be! Even my employer would agree--but that kind of reckless abandon focus on family has been elusive for this OCD chic with major ambition issues. So, today, I'm thankful for this permission that I feel to put my family first. Here's to hoping I can keep it up--even when hormones are no longer on my side!
I can't lie-I wasn't sure I was going to be ready to go back to school today. Usually, I start getting excited a few days before--but it wasn't until last night at 9pm that I finally kicked into ready to work mode. My focus is turning more inward-to myself, to this baby, and to my home. I think I have said here before that when I am pregnant or nursing, it is marvelous in that I feel that I have cosmic permission to lavish attention on myself, my home, and my family--completely guilt free. I am a woman who is used to feeling torn between all of the parts of my life that I love. When I am at home, I am concerned about what I'm not accomplishing at work--when I'm at work, I'm concerned that my children are forgetting me--or worse being the last ones picked up from after school care.
Anyhow, work did come--and I was ready, and it was fabulous to be back. But, it is also amazing that for now I'm living with an undeniable focus on my family, my health, and all of our well being. Of course, that's how it should always be! Even my employer would agree--but that kind of reckless abandon focus on family has been elusive for this OCD chic with major ambition issues. So, today, I'm thankful for this permission that I feel to put my family first. Here's to hoping I can keep it up--even when hormones are no longer on my side!
Crazy Faith: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Lives
January 2, 2011 Blessing #240
I think I have mentioned here how much I love it when my students bring me books. There is something profound in the journey to lifelong learning happening when a student transitions to offering the teacher reading material.
Anyway, I love to read, and I have actually been able to stay awake long enough at night to really get into this book which was given to me for Christmas by Carey, one of my very mature, very bright advisees. It's not a tough read--it's broken into several short stories about individuals who have exhibited crazy faith and accomplished extraordinary things.
Read it! It is very powerful picturing yourself in the stories of Nelson Mendela, Mother Teresa, and King David. As I'm reading, I'm wondering, "What would I have done? Would I have maintained my faith? Would I have looked for the Blessing or would I have given up?" I don't always like the answers--but I sure am learning alot about myself. I am thankful for this Christmas gift from Carey-thankful for the introspection it has spurred, and thankful that I can work toward being an Ordinary Person with an Extraordinary Life.
I think I have mentioned here how much I love it when my students bring me books. There is something profound in the journey to lifelong learning happening when a student transitions to offering the teacher reading material.
Anyway, I love to read, and I have actually been able to stay awake long enough at night to really get into this book which was given to me for Christmas by Carey, one of my very mature, very bright advisees. It's not a tough read--it's broken into several short stories about individuals who have exhibited crazy faith and accomplished extraordinary things.
Read it! It is very powerful picturing yourself in the stories of Nelson Mendela, Mother Teresa, and King David. As I'm reading, I'm wondering, "What would I have done? Would I have maintained my faith? Would I have looked for the Blessing or would I have given up?" I don't always like the answers--but I sure am learning alot about myself. I am thankful for this Christmas gift from Carey-thankful for the introspection it has spurred, and thankful that I can work toward being an Ordinary Person with an Extraordinary Life.
I am RICH!!!
January 1, 2011 Blessing #239
This was another sleep in day--it was fabulous! I never thought it would happen, but we were all awake to ring in the New Year together, and we were all tired this morning! My children rarely sleep past 7:30am-but I had to wake them at 9!
Trey hasn't had as much time off this Holiday Season as he usually takes--he just didn't have the vacation after our trips to Haiti and Jamaica, but the time he has been home has been so special. It was wonderful to start the year eating all of our meals together.
I was busy of course-nesting full force again-but everyone in our family was exactly where we wanted to be. I started thinking about children without parents, parents who've lost children, and families separated by war, and I was overcome with the richness and good fortune I have in my home. Oh, richness in the non material sense obviously--but in all the stuff that matters, I have it so good. There is no place I would rather be than at home with husband and 2 children--and they reciprocate 100%. So today, I acknowledge that I am blessed beyond measure with this family, this home, and our good fortune.
This was another sleep in day--it was fabulous! I never thought it would happen, but we were all awake to ring in the New Year together, and we were all tired this morning! My children rarely sleep past 7:30am-but I had to wake them at 9!
Trey hasn't had as much time off this Holiday Season as he usually takes--he just didn't have the vacation after our trips to Haiti and Jamaica, but the time he has been home has been so special. It was wonderful to start the year eating all of our meals together.
I was busy of course-nesting full force again-but everyone in our family was exactly where we wanted to be. I started thinking about children without parents, parents who've lost children, and families separated by war, and I was overcome with the richness and good fortune I have in my home. Oh, richness in the non material sense obviously--but in all the stuff that matters, I have it so good. There is no place I would rather be than at home with husband and 2 children--and they reciprocate 100%. So today, I acknowledge that I am blessed beyond measure with this family, this home, and our good fortune.
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