Manic Monday, January 3, 2011 Blessing #241
I can't lie-I wasn't sure I was going to be ready to go back to school today. Usually, I start getting excited a few days before--but it wasn't until last night at 9pm that I finally kicked into ready to work mode. My focus is turning more inward-to myself, to this baby, and to my home. I think I have said here before that when I am pregnant or nursing, it is marvelous in that I feel that I have cosmic permission to lavish attention on myself, my home, and my family--completely guilt free. I am a woman who is used to feeling torn between all of the parts of my life that I love. When I am at home, I am concerned about what I'm not accomplishing at work--when I'm at work, I'm concerned that my children are forgetting me--or worse being the last ones picked up from after school care.
Anyhow, work did come--and I was ready, and it was fabulous to be back. But, it is also amazing that for now I'm living with an undeniable focus on my family, my health, and all of our well being. Of course, that's how it should always be! Even my employer would agree--but that kind of reckless abandon focus on family has been elusive for this OCD chic with major ambition issues. So, today, I'm thankful for this permission that I feel to put my family first. Here's to hoping I can keep it up--even when hormones are no longer on my side!
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