Domestic Goddess or Goddess of War?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011  Blessing #243

I'm feeling a bit silly.  Why in the world am I doing this? Counting blessings is of course a fabulous idea and discipline--but doing it publicly?  Anyway, not that it is super public--I have a few loyal readers-but they are mostly family.  So, again that begs the question, why bother? I mean there is so much other stuff for me to do right now.....(like cook, clean, sort, and nest--domestic goddess stuff!)

It's another one of those days that I just don't feel like focusing on blessings--so bear with me as I try to muddle through.  I'm irritated today by the simple truth that the pace of the world is often set by the slow pokes.  This is true on the interstate (I don't mean safe speed drivers, I mean slow drivers), in the grocery store, at the bank, and even in the work place.  I am not always efficient--but I do get my work done, and I get it done on time.  I can't stand myself if I don't.  (By the way, yes I have made my bed everyday and no, we still haven't used the credit card).  Why can't everyone just do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it?  Is that really too much to ask? Why should I have more work to do or waiting to do because someone else can't get their stuff together?  I'm all about helping folks who need it, but folks who just move slow for the sake of moving slow?  Come on!!!  Yes, this is what it looks like when I'm on the war path (I am currently wearing my War Goddess metaphorical hat).

I'll bet you can feel the sunshine through the computer!  It has just been a day full of delays and fumbles in communication causing me headache after headache.  But, seriously, this is another tough day for me--and I know it shouldn't be.  I mean, I have food to eat, shelter, a husband and family I adore, a job I love, and the miracle of new life inside of me.  Still, I may be optimistic, but I'm not perfect. Sometimes it is hard for me to focus on the good.

Coming full circle now, I guess that is why I am doing this publicly-because that way I have to find the good everyday--no matter what.  I'm typing this through gritted teeth.

So, today, our long-time sitter, Sarah, picked the kids up from school and took them for ice cream at Chic-fil-a.  This was totally pro bono, b/c of course we can't afford to pay her!  She has just missed Chip and Katie, and they have missed her and she wanted to remedy that.  So for mommy--who had had a tough day, that meant I just got in the car and left school alone. I drove home to an empty house-I'm never in my house alone.

There was stillness there that felt Divine. In that stillness I tried hard to reflect on good things from the day--Chip spent it at Fernbank, several students started getting photosynthesis, my blood sugars are refreshingly boring, even the kids are making their beds, I'm going on an awesome retreat next week with 12th graders, I love my home and family.  You get the idea--well, anyway I went from gritted teeth to a grin of gratitude. It only took 15 minutes of still, quiet, purposeful time.  Today I'm thankful for that time.