I can't tell a lie! I'm worried I've bitten off more than I can chew here. 365 days in a row of counting blessings? On great days, I can see it, but today I am feeling behind on my grading, planning, and exam writing. I have students who are refusing to turn in assignments, and it is pouring down rain, which means I will not be getting a walk in today. That little bit of exercise really is a mood booster for me. As if that wasn't enough to stress me out, we are trying to figure out how to pay the bills, keep gas in the tank of our ridiculous SUV (which is paid for, other wise I'd be all about something more economical), and afford gluten free groceries.
Yep, this is one of those days I feel like selling out and deciding to stay grumpy. But, I promised myself, so I have worked to find the blessing. The odd thing is it wasn't the finding it that was hard. It was the clinging to it. It's one thing to have an aha moment about a happy circumstance, but it is another thing entirely to keep that positive energy at the forefront of my thoughts and actions. Let me see if I can explain.
I picked the kids up at school, and hurried out to dinner so I could get my oldest, Chip, (who was in Haiti with me over spring break--see my earlier post) to his piano lesson. He loves piano, and his excitement before his lesson is almost tangible. We don't eat out often, so both the kids get pumped about dinner out on Mondays. Today, we went to my favorite burrito place, and the positive energy was fabulous. The kids weren't fighting; they were playing, singing, and dancing. In fact, they went to "pick out the table" while I was paying the bill, and they were singing B-I-N-G-O at the top of their lungs. It was early, so the place wasn't crowded, but the folks who were in there were thoroughly enjoying the performance. It was one of those fabulous mommy moments, when I was thrilled that my children were happy and healthy enough to sing regardless of their ability to stay in tune. It was an obvious blessing.
So what happened? I stopped by the house to grab the check book to pay for piano. Doing this required walking through my dirty kitchen which is chronically infested with ants (help, please!), passing the "bill basket" which is overflowing, nearly slipping on a melted icecube that got left on the floor, and just like that, my positive outlook evaporated. But, in keeping with my assignment I have turned even that downer into a blessing...so here we go!
Blessing #6, May 3, 2010
Because I am human I have the phenomenal ability to be aware of my own thoughts, and to direct them. Sure the blessing of happy, healthy children is priceless. The reality of life, though, is that it doesn't always feel like a series of precious moments like the one I had in the Burrito place. I do believe there are more of those moments than most folks realize, but even so, the minutia and drudgery of life can get in the way. Enter our power of metacognition. I can think about my own thinking, and when I see that I am having difficulty focusing on the gifts in my life, I can stop, about face, and redirect my attention in a more productive direction. And so, today, I am especially grateful that even when I feel like being grumpy and miserable, I have the capacity to convince myself to notice and count the blessings.
1 comment:
When I have kids, I hope they sing. But I don't know about in public. I tend to get very emotional about cute things and I might start crying happy tears in the middle of the restraunt. Just reading your story got me choked up! Also, my brother has celiac disease so when I'm home from college I do quite a bit of gluten-free cooking for him - it definitely takes a lot of creativity. Good job and stick with it!
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