"No, It's Your Turn!"

December 8, 2010  Blessing #215

I am the most Type A, OCD, take charge person in the world.  Nothing upsets me more than feeling out of control-and this is the case even though I know control is just an illusion.  Again, just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm always rational.

So, last night I'm feeling pretty good about things.  We finished up the taco soup, and I had tonight's dinner simmering in the crock pot.  Chip had played piano, done his homework, and was showered. I had even remembered to throw his only Athens Academy sweatshirt in the washer so he could wear it another couple of days (this is because lately he can't keep up with his coats at school!).  Katie ate a great supper, was in her jammies, and snug on the couch.  It was looking like a W for the night--in bed on time means a happy next morning before school. 

Yep, I was feeling pretty good about things on the homefront and excited about the next day at work.  I knew it would be busy as I drop all of my free periods today, was having a guest speaker, my last Christmas party with my 12th grade advisory, an Interact Meeting, and a room full in tutorial as we head into the final exams.

I send Chip up to bed-and on his way he turns around and says the words every Mother dreads.  "Mom, I don't feel so good.  Maybe I need to throw up.  I'm really hot."  And almost every mother replies, as I did last night, "Oh, I think you are just fine!  Go read and take your mind off of it.  I'll be up in a minute to check on you."  Well, last night it seemed to work, just adding to that feeling that I was the master of my household.  He read a bit of Harry Potter and drifted off to sleep. My sense of mastery was shortlived.

He slept for all of an hour and woke up in a panic with chills, fever of 102, and pain in his "stomach" (though he was pointing to his ribs).  So, I had slept at that point about 45 minutes-I woke up and went through the Mom check list.  Let's see--he's breathing normally, no diarrhea, no vomiting (yet anyway), high fever after a cough that had resolved a few days ago, pain in the stomach or chest but on opposite side of appendix.  I'm figuring stomach virus or early pneumonia.  No need to call the Dr. in the middle of the night--but there's no way around it--he isn't going to school.

Then comes the discussion working parents with a sick child must have--"well, can you stay home tomorrow, honey?" we ask each other. Trey and I both answer "No way! It's my busiest day of the week. It is impossible for me to stay home!"  So, then we argue--"It's your turn!"  "No, it's your turn!" Before long we sound about like my children in the backseat when they are hungry and tired. Isn't that just ridiculous?  I mean obviously nothing is as important as tending to our child--but there is always that moment when it becomes clear one of us can't be at work that we act as though our professional obligations matter more than all else.  We got it settled--decided that I since I won't sleep anyway, I will stay home with him today, and Trey will take his turn on Thursday, if necessary.

Meanwhile, it's downstairs at 1:30 am to turn off the crock pot, back up to wake Chip and give him Motrin, back down to email colleagues and beg for helping greeting the guest speaker, then back upstairs to comfort Katie who is having a bad dream, and then finally drifting off to sleep in Chip's bed so I can know if his fever spikes again.  Naturally, it's not very restful sleep--but every mother knows you don't rest when your child is sick anyway.  Plus I can't sleep too hard, b/c I have to wake up in time to call for a sub and email plans in, text my advisory about the party and my interact officers about the meeting, and be the first on the machine at the doctor's office so I can get an early appointment. (Didn't I just write about how it is always more work to miss school than to make it there?)

So, the blessing in all this?  First of all, on some level it is hilarious what my life involves now that I'm a mother and a professional.  Daddy said it once, as he tried to sit on my sofa which was covered in laundry.  "Honey, your life is about great big ideas, important work, and itty bitty socks."  I would add "itty bitty germs" and say he just about nailed it.  Second, it is important for me to be reminded of my priorities.  There is no where I should be today but with my son, and by the morning I was over feeling guilty about being needed away from work.  Thirdly,  I am reminded of just how competent my students are. The truth is everything that needs to happen today at school will happen. I am not nearly as central to that as I think I am. And finally, how many women can say they love to be at home and they love to be at work?  I don't think there are as many as there should be--so I consider myself very blessed in that regard.

As far as Chip goes--the Dr. says probably a virus, maybe flu, watch for symptoms of pneumonia, and apprise him of any developments.  Chip and Katie are sleeping.  Mommy is making a soup with the frozen turkey carcass from Thanksgiving, and feeling tired but grateful for the blessings I mentioned, access to medical care for my children, and an employer who understands the importance of family.  And, I'm laughing out loud remembering this book I read about a working mother....a fictitious character, but a real kindrid spirit.  I recommend it!